Have you ever found yourself in a one-sided relationship where you felt as if you were the one doing all the giving, all the caring, while receiving nothing in return? you might be in a codependent relationship.

If this dynamic sounds familiar, it’s likely you’re trapped in the web of co-dependency, a pattern of behaviour where your self-worth and identity hinges on another’s approval.

Co-dependency was first defined nearly 50 years ago to describe unhealthy relationships characterized by excessive control or compliance, often with one partner lacking self-sufficiency and autonomy.

The concept was originally conceived in the context of addiction. It helped to explain “enabling” patterns used to ease relationship tension caused by drug and alcohol abuse.

We now understand that enabling behaviours (such as rescuing a partner, bailing them out, making and accepting excuses for their behaviour, and constantly trying to fix problems) also are common in non-addiction-related co-dependent relationships.

Through constantly sacrificing for others and ignoring their own needs, co-dependents find self-esteem by winning a partner’s approval. Because they lack self-worth, co-dependent people have great difficulty accepting from others.

Co-dependent personalities tend to attract partners who are emotionally unstable. They may find themselves in relationship after relationship with needy, unreliable, or emotionally unavailable counterparts.

How can you tell if your relationship is unhealthy? Here’s a list of common feelings and symptoms associated with co-dependency. You may be in a co-dependent relationship if you identify with any of the following statements:

1. You feel as if your life revolves around your partner.
2. You cancel plans to accommodate your partner’s whims.
3. No matter how hard you try, nothing you do is ever good enough.
4. You put their needs in front of your own
5. You don’t do anything without checking in with your
6. You’re a classic peacekeeper and people-pleaser.
7. You’ve found yourself in relationships with addicts, drug users, or have been verbally or physically abused.
8. You’re always smiling and try to appear cheery, even when you’re feeling mad or sad.
9. You play the role of caregiver in your family or with your partner.
10. You feel ashamed about what’s really going on inside your relationship, but keep that secret to yourself.
11. You feel trapped in the relationship, but feel that if you did leave, you’d be a horrible person for abandoning your partner
12. Your partner’s mood affects your day.
13. You feel devalued or disrespected in your relationship.
14. Anxiety is the emotion you feel most often in your relationship.
15. You spend a lot of time trying to conform or balance your partner’s wishes and preferences.
16. You talk about your partner’s issues all the time
17. You always want to know what they’re doing and thinking
18. partner first
19. You have trouble saying no to your partner

If you see any of these signs of co-dependency within yourself or your relationship, you’ve taken an important first step in rewiring dysfunctional patterns.

Continue to educate yourself about the consequences of remaining in an unhealthy dynamic. By learning to identify and label co-dependent behaviours, you can begin to deconstruct the entanglement in your relationship.

Remember, healthy love is about creating partnerships that are inter-dependent and characterized by mutual respect and honesty.

Recovery is possible through emotional healing and redefining the way you value yourself.

Good communication is the cornerstone of every relationship, but talking about sexual issues can sometimes be a challenge.

1. It’s most likely not about you

Your immediate thought might be that you’re the cause of his inability to get an erection.

You may think that you’re not able to arouse him the way you used to.

You can, however, reassure yourself that you’re probably not the cause.

Study shows that the most common cause of erectile dysfunction (ED) is damage to arteries, smooth muscles and fibrous tissues. Problems with blood vessels (vascular) make up 48% of erection issues.

2. Encourage him to sick help

We know masculinity leads men to believe that to be a man they need to “toughen up and be brave and self-reliant”. This could be why men tend to be more reluctant to go to the doctor than women.

ED can be an indicator of an underlying condition needing medical attention. ED can be an indicator of diabetes, and further explains that men with diabetes are three times more likely to have ED.

Diabetes can stop the penis from becoming erect in three ways:

1. Neuropathy can develop, as diabetes may cause damage to nerves, disabling the signalling from the brain to the penis.
2. Atherosclerosis causes the blood vessels to narrow or harden. Diabetes is known to aggravate this condition, which may cause ED by restricting the flow of blood to the penis.
3. Blood sugar levels have a direct effect on the body’s production of Nitrous Oxide (NO), which means that NO levels will drop if blood sugar levels are not well managed. NO ensures that an erection is maintained.

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2. Support Him

Allow your relationship to be a safe space for him to share his fears and concerns. As It can be a very scary experience knowing something is wrong with your health, but not knowing what the cause could be and how serious it is. In addition to this, a man can feel quite emasculated when he fails to get an erection.

Don’t judge him or make him feel he cannot talk to you. Experts maintain that open communication is key to ensuring that ED doesn’t damage a couple’s relationship in the long run.

4. Take charge in the bedroom

Do not allow sexual frustrations to build up, as this could put unnecessary strain on you and your relationship. Explain to your partner that you support him and have no desire to replace him.

There’s, however, no reason why his problem should prevent you from being sexually satisfied. Now could be the right time to get acquainted with a self-love device such as a dildo or vibrator.