19 Warning Signs You’re in a Codependent Relationship

Have you ever found yourself in a one-sided relationship where you felt as if you were the one doing all the giving, all the caring, while receiving nothing in return? you might be in a codependent relationship.

If this dynamic sounds familiar, it’s likely you’re trapped in the web of co-dependency, a pattern of behaviour where your self-worth and identity hinges on another’s approval.

Co-dependency was first defined nearly 50 years ago to describe unhealthy relationships characterized by excessive control or compliance, often with one partner lacking self-sufficiency and autonomy.

The concept was originally conceived in the context of addiction. It helped to explain “enabling” patterns used to ease relationship tension caused by drug and alcohol abuse.

We now understand that enabling behaviours (such as rescuing a partner, bailing them out, making and accepting excuses for their behaviour, and constantly trying to fix problems) also are common in non-addiction-related co-dependent relationships.

Through constantly sacrificing for others and ignoring their own needs, co-dependents find self-esteem by winning a partner’s approval. Because they lack self-worth, co-dependent people have great difficulty accepting from others.

Co-dependent personalities tend to attract partners who are emotionally unstable. They may find themselves in relationship after relationship with needy, unreliable, or emotionally unavailable counterparts.

How can you tell if your relationship is unhealthy? Here’s a list of common feelings and symptoms associated with co-dependency. You may be in a co-dependent relationship if you identify with any of the following statements:

  1. You feel as if your life revolves around your partner.
  2. You cancel plans to accommodate your partner’s whims.
  3. No matter how hard you try, nothing you do is ever good enough.
  4. You put their needs in front of your own
  5. You don’t do anything without checking in with your
  6. You’re a classic peacekeeper and people-pleaser.
  7. You’ve found yourself in relationships with addicts, drug users, or have been verbally or physically abused.
  8. You’re always smiling and try to appear cheery, even when you’re feeling mad or sad.
  9. You play the role of caregiver in your family or with your partner.
  10. You feel ashamed about what’s really going on inside your relationship, but keep that secret to yourself.
  11. You feel trapped in the relationship, but feel that if you did leave, you’d be a horrible person for abandoning your partner
  12. Your partner’s mood affects your day.
  13. You feel devalued or disrespected in your relationship.
  14. Anxiety is the emotion you feel most often in your relationship.
  15. You spend a lot of time trying to conform or balance your partner’s wishes and preferences.
  16. You talk about your partner’s issues all the time
  17. You always want to know what they’re doing and thinking
  18. partner first
  19. You have trouble saying no to your partner

If you see any of these signs of co-dependency within yourself or your relationship, you’ve taken an important first step in rewiring dysfunctional patterns.

Continue to educate yourself about the consequences of remaining in an unhealthy dynamic. By learning to identify and label co-dependent behaviours, you can begin to deconstruct the entanglement in your relationship.

Remember, healthy love is about creating partnerships that are inter-dependent and characterized by mutual respect and honesty.

Recovery is possible through emotional healing and redefining the way you value yourself.

 

6 tips that will modify your sex life into a great one

There’s no arguing that “quickie sex” can be arousing, exciting and satisfying. It’s good for when passions override all thought and desire wins. However, most women will agree that the best sexual encounters occur when a man knows and understands the importance of making your lovemaking experience enjoyable.

Too much boredom in your bedroom? Revitalize your sex life with these 6 tips:

Don’t take it personally.

Differences in sexual desire within couples are very common. Although it is hard to have your advances rejected repeatedly without taking it personally, you need to remind yourself that a partner’s lack of interest in sex just may not be about you, your attractiveness, or your qualities as a human being. It may be a matter of a hormone deficiency or other physiological problems—or feelings the person has about himself or herself. Although you undoubtedly want things to change, try to develop a little empathy. Chances are, given the choice, he or she would prefer to feel turned on easily. It’s no picnic to feel disinterested in something your partner thrives on. He or she may feel inadequate, for example. The situation hurts you, but don’t underestimate how painful it is for your partner. Even if he or she acts defensively, your partner probably spends lots of time wondering why things aren’t easier between you. Try to be understanding

Give yourself time.

As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you’ll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn’t a bad thing, working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.

Make a Plan

When life becomes busy and schedules are hectic, plan for sexual encounters with one another. Some people may find scheduling undesirable, but it all depends on how you look at it. You can make plans just as exciting as spontaneous sex. Flirting throughout the day or specifying a “sex date” can build anticipation. Try to set the mood in advance. If you want to have good sex at night, start the foreplay in the morning. Let your partner know you care and are thinking about them throughout the day with notes, e-mails, texts, phone calls, hugs, or other flirtatious gestures.

Watch porn together

Discuss with your partner the type of porn you both like. Consider showing these to each other or search for one together that you can both compromise on. It’s usually used in private, which makes watching porn with your partner feel even more risqué. Porn builds sexual tension and piques curiosity, but don’t limit yourselves to screens. See what happens when you take turns reading erotic literature to each other. Even if you break down in giggles before you turn the page, you’re on the right track. Laughter is a great way to spice things up, too.

Include foreplay

There is no great sexual experience without foreplay. It’s a fact: Women typically need foreplay to have good sex. That’s a really good reason not to cut corners with it. Foreplay is really important for most women because they tend to take a longer time to get into the mood. Usually its women who complain that men want to skip to the main course of intercourse, but often they need more time to open up. Foreplay helps lubrication flow and makes intercourse all the more pleasurable.

Love yourself too

We talk a lot about body image, and it’s for a good reason. Feeling good about yourself improves more areas of your life than just your self-esteem, and it’s bound to improve your sex life significantly. Just think about it. If you could be naked with your partner and feel proud of your body, how much weight and stress that would lift off of your shoulders? It’s amazing, and it’s so underrated.

 Conclusion

Sometimes keeping passion alive in the bedroom has nothing to do with sex at all. Take a tennis lesson, try a new restaurant, and go on a hike together. “When you do a fun activity that’s not sexual with your partner, you’ll pay attention to one-another, which helps build desire, and that’s a form of foreplay,” says Amy Levine, certified sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure.

4 ways to help you man’s erectile dysfunction

Good communication is the cornerstone of every relationship, but talking about sexual issues can sometimes be a challenge.

  1. It’s most likely not about you

Your immediate thought might be that you’re the cause of his inability to get an erection.

You may think that you’re not able to arouse him the way you used to.

You can, however, reassure yourself that you’re probably not the cause.

Study shows that the most common cause of erectile dysfunction (ED) is damage to arteries, smooth muscles and fibrous tissues. Problems with blood vessels (vascular) make up 48% of erection issues.

 

  1. Encourage him to sick help

We know masculinity leads men to believe that to be a man they need to “toughen up and be brave and self-reliant”. This could be why men tend to be more reluctant to go to the doctor than women.

ED can be an indicator of an underlying condition needing medical attention. ED can be an indicator of diabetes, and further explains that men with diabetes are three times more likely to have ED.

Diabetes can stop the penis from becoming erect in three ways:

 

  1. Neuropathy can develop, as diabetes may cause damage to nerves, disabling the signalling from the brain to the penis.
  2. Atherosclerosis causes the blood vessels to narrow or harden. Diabetes is known to aggravate this condition, which may cause ED by restricting the flow of blood to the penis.
  3. Blood sugar levels have a direct effect on the body’s production of Nitrous Oxide (NO), which means that NO levels will drop if blood sugar levels are not well managed. NO ensures that an erection is maintained.

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4 ways to help you man’s erectile dysfunction

  1. Support Him

Allow your relationship to be a safe space for him to share his fears and concerns. As It can be a very scary experience knowing something is wrong with your health, but not knowing what the cause could be and how serious it is. In addition to this, a man can feel quite emasculated when he fails to get an erection.

Don’t judge him or make him feel he cannot talk to you. Experts maintain that open communication is key to ensuring that ED doesn’t damage a couple’s relationship in the long run.

 

  1. Take charge in the bedroom

 

Do not allow sexual frustrations to build up, as this could put unnecessary strain on you and your relationship. Explain to your partner that you support him and have no desire to replace him.

There’s, however, no reason why his problem should prevent you from being sexually satisfied. Now could be the right time to get acquainted with a self-love device such as a dildo or vibrator.

5 Relationship Killers And How To Avoid Them!

Relationships can be very complicated and challenging even when people are under their best circumstances.

In this post, I will be outlining 5 relationship killers and how to avoid them.

We all know that in order to have a great relationship its necessary to work on solid communication, work through our differences of opinion and spent quality time together. But what about things we often overlook that contribute to a healthy, thriving relationship?

There are a handful of relationship skills that can create a HUGE difference in your connection and happiness but often overlooked.

Here are 5 things that we tend to overlook, that kills relationships. Read more