Your pain matters because you matter

If we live in a traumatic state for an extended period of time we want relief more than anything else. Because of the lack of education around trauma we rarely hear the words, “what you are experiencing is quite normal considering what’s been done to you.” That lack of affirmation leaves us vulnerable thinking something is severely wrong with how we do things. That’s not true. The truth is our body offers a response to what it’s registered. So, those responses are coming from a place of pain and awareness.

Very few of us have been given permission to be honest about our pain. Very few of us have had access to the proper help to expose the trauma. Very few of us had the language to describe what’s going on inside of us. But many are finding solace, that this painful part of the journey is shared.

How many of us have been misdiagnosed while dismissing trauma? How many of us believed we were the problem? How many of us believed that what happened to us was not that bad, and someone else could have handled it better?

These are the after-effects of the trauma doubling down and keeping us exposed to the rawest parts. But then we look out and through our searching, our hunger, our need to be understood. We find that not only are we not alone, but there are thousands who speak that language inside of us.

Those words and phrases that only make sense to someone who knows great pain. Those moments that define how our lives were altered, but we’ve needed a lifeline to preserve what’s left.

Here are a few things to reflect on to help you on your healing journey.

  1. It’s not humanly possible to convince someone to abuse you. People are abused because of an abuser.
  2. It is common and beautiful to be conflicted and take on the blame if you were abused by someone you loved. You still did not create that abuse.
  3. The conflict you may be experiencing internally is a much-needed dialogue of deep breaths and awareness of you looking back at your younger self and saying “You are mine. What they lacked in safety for you, I will restore.

Now, here we are. We are bravely, boldly and unapologetically telling our stories. That may not be the details. You may not even know their names. But there is an awareness and a new era of people who are linking arms and learning about their unprocessed bravery to survive.

The more you validate those untold stories, the more we break down the social oppression that demands we show up polished and presentable. We are learning that polished and presentable can’t hold a torch to authentic and full of grace.

How to Enlarge Your Penis Yourself – A Safe Natural Method

Penis enlargement has been around for years now and the industry is still waxing stronger. Although there are lots of scam products and programs still available that claim to give you increased size but at the end fails.

It is so painful and demoralizing thinking about the time and money you have put into such product or program. This post will show you how to enlarge your penis yourself, the safe and natural way.

Exercises are the best natural way to increase your penis enlargement. Just as your body tissues can be increased through exercises, your penis too can also be increased through exercises.

However, the kind of exercise differs. You can go for outdoor jogging, walking on treadmills, skipping or even dancing just to exercise the body. But for penis exercise, it is not the same. The natural exercise used to enlarge the penis is called jelqing.

Enlarging the penis through this natural method simply means: you should not expect an overnight result and also you should be prepared to practice it consistently. Patience is the watchword here.


Practice the below jelqing routine consistently and you will see how your penis will grow.


  1. Run warm water on a clean towel and wrap that warm towel on your penis for about a minute or two. This is called a warm up exercise.


  1. Bring yourself to semi erection and apply some lubricant on your hand and penis.


  1. Grab the base of your shaft between the thumb and first finger of one hand like making an OK symbol and move them upward towards the base of the head of your penis. You must not do it in a rush just take about 1-2 seconds before stopping at the head of your penis.


  1. Repeat the whole process all over again starting from the base and maintaining the same pressure.


  1. You can repeat this for about 5 minutes. You can increase the time and repetition when you get more used to this practice.


  1. The last process is to perform the warm down exercise. Just like the warm up exercise, wrap a warm towel over your penis for about 1 or 2 minutes. You can also use the oil to massage your penis lightly for about 1 or 2 minutes.

For safe Penis Enlargement in Johannesburg contact us today

6 Things You Should Be Doing To the Clitoris

In this post we will take you through things you should be doing to your woman’s clitoris.

When it comes to making a person with a vulva orgasm, most folks need more than plain old penetration.

Yes your penis is great and all, but only a quarter of vulva owners routinely come during vaginal intercourse, meaning that a lot of people need some form of clitoral stimulation in order to climax.


Packed with nerve endings, the clitoris is one of the most sensitive erogenous zones. It has around 8,000 nerve endings, which is double the number in a penis.

So what can you do to give your partner a mind-blowing clitoral orgasm?

Well, for starters, make sure you know where to find the clitoris: at the top of the vulva, just under the spot where the inner labia meet. The clitoris also extends up to 5 inches inside the body.


And now, to stimulate the clitoris? If not sure ask your partner!

Surprise your partner tonight with one—or all—of these clitoral stimulation tricks, using not just your tongue, but also your lips, fingers, and toys. And don’t forget: there are a number of sex positions where you can reach around and stimulate your partner’s clit with your fingers or a vibrator during penetration. There’s no reason why penetration and clit stimulation have to be separate; the two can (and should!) exist in perfect harmony.


  1. Pick a Side

When it comes to clitoral stimulation, 4 out of 10 women have a preferred side,  Ask her if there’s a side she likes better—and if she’s not sure, experiment on both.


  1. Use your imagination.

When you’re flicking your tongue over her clitoris, imagine you are painting a fence from top to bottom, then move your tongue side to  side.

  1. Suck and Nibble

Instead of just licking her, use your lips and tongue to suck on her clit.

The entire vulva consists of sensitive nerve fibers. So being able to suck on the glans or the head of the clit and lightly nibble on her inner and outer labia, or suck a little on labia, will stimulate the nerve fibers.

The sucking will also lead to increased vasocongestion, or more blood flow, to the vulva and the clitoris.


  1. Don’t Forget the Shaft

While a lot of attention is spent on the tip of the clitoris—the part located at the top of the vulva—it also has two “legs” that extend up to five inches inside the body, known as the “shaft.”


Slide your fingers to either side of her clitoral shaft. Pull and push the clitoral hood across the clitoris and move in circles, diagonals, and spontaneous un-choreographed fashions so as to stay unpredictable.


  1. Play the Harmonica

Once your partner is in the midst of an orgasm, add some oral vibration to her experience.


Make your lips into an O and take her clitoris in your mouth. Then make humming sounds as you suck on her clit, as if you are playing the harmonica, so that she can feel the warm, wet vibrations.

  1. Draw circles

In study 3 out of 4 women said they love it when you trace little circles on or around the clit. You can use your tongue, your finger, or two fingers—or all of the above.

It is noted that some women prefer the clockwise movement – which is when you trace from the bottom of th

5 natural ways to overcome Weak Erection


Can you still keep it up as you did when you were 15 years old? Run as fast as you did when you were 2o years old?

Probably not.

But even as we grow old, there are still ways to stay in the game and enjoy it. Same stays true for sex as It is for another thing.

You can experience Weak Erection for many reasons. Sometimes it can be as simple as a result of side effect from a particular medication. But for most men, the cause is more complex. It can be as a result of diabetes, surgeries, vascular disease, neurological disease and more.

Whether you currently suffering from Weak Erection or are hoping to sidestep this condition, try these tips to overcome ED for better health and better sex life.


  1. Start walking.

According to one Harvard study, just 30 minutes of walking a day was linked with a 41% drop in risk for Weak Erection.

Other research suggests that moderate exercise can help restore sexual performance in obese middle-aged men with Weak Erection.


  1. Eat right.

A study shows that eating a diet rich in natural foods like fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and fish — with fewer red and processed meat and refined grains — decreased the likelihood of Weak Erection.


  1. Pay attention to your vascular health.

High blood pressure, high blood sugar, high cholesterol, and high triglycerides can all damage arteries in the heart causing a heart attack, in the brain causing stroke and leading to the penis causing Weak Erection.

An expanding waistline also contributes. Check with your doctor to find out whether your vascular system is in good shape or needs a tune-up through lifestyle changes and, if necessary, medications.

  1. Size matters, so get slim and stay slim.

A trim waistline is one good defence, a man with a 42-inch waist is 50% more likely to have Weak Erection than one with a 32-inch waist. Losing weight can help fight Weak Erection, so getting to a healthy weight and staying there is another good strategy for avoiding or fixing Weak Erection. Obesity raises risks for vascular disease and diabetes, two major causes of Weak Erection. And excess fat interferes with several hormones that may be part of the problem as well.

  1. Move a muscle, but we’re not talking about your biceps.

A strong pelvic floor enhances rigidity during erections and helps keep blood from leaving the penis by pressing on a key vein.

In a British trial, three months of twice-daily sets of Kegel exercises (which strengthen these muscles), combined with biofeedback and advice on lifestyle changes — quitting smoking, losing weight, limiting alcohol — worked far better than just advice on lifestyle changes.


For Men’s Health Clinic to help you with men related sexual health, contact us today.

Men’s Health Facts [Infographic]

Men’s Health Facts [Infographic]

Do you know what causes most deaths to men relative to women? What reduce men lifespan and more. Men’s Health Clinic Sandton share stats and facts you facts about men’s health.

Check out the infographic for more detail.

7 Ways Being Thinner Improves Your Sex Life!

Yes, being thinner will improve your sex life.

This doesn’t mean you have to be ‘skinny’ to have a good time in bed, it means that losing that extra fat that’s weighing you down will make your sex life more enjoyable and adventurous!

Whether you like it kinky or plain ol’ vanilla, you can’t discount the benefits of a proper diet on your desire to have sex and your performance while you do! Improving the moves is up to you, but helping you get there…well, that’s something we can help you achieve.

  1. More Confident

Dropping a few kilos will help revive your libido, giving you a renewed desire to get frisky which honestly is half the battle. Losing about 2.5kg will make you feel proud of your accomplishment and confident in your body.

When we feel more confident about how we look, it makes us want to have sex more.

Simply wanting to have more sex will put you’re partner in the mood more frequently. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first 5kg you need to lose or the only 5. The confidence that comes with losing weight will put you back in the mood for loving!

  1. More Adventurous

Another benefit of losing unnecessary kilos?

Exercising and losing weight helps you maintain muscles flexibility, which is useful when you want to try different positions. Losing any amount of weight will put less strain on your muscles, allowing them to move more freely.

Greater muscle flexibility means that you can now try all those pretzel-like positions the Kama-Sutra. If your sex life has been mundane, make it more exciting by getting more aerobic exercise.

  1. More Stamina

In additions to making you an overall healthier person, losing weight through a healthy diet and exercise gives you more energy. Eating high fat protein along with fresh fruits & vegetables makes you feel full for a long time and energetic, compared to mid-afternoon snack of greasy foods and sugary drinks.

With more energy means you will have more to give in the bedroom, you can have sex for longer periods of time, thus burning more calories while doing it.

  1. Better Performance

Losing weight is a great cure for obesity-related illness like high cholesterol, diabetes and high blood pressure. All these conditions can cause physical sexual dysfunctions in men and women.

In men, high blood pressure and diabetes can shut down the arteries – which control the blood flow – in the penis which you kind of need for an awesome performance between the sheets.

  1. Greater Arousal

When our bodies stray from what doctors consider a healthy body weight our hormones tend to get ‘out of whack’. Unbalanced hormones can make you feel depressed or anxious, but more importantly, they affect your desire to become aroused.

A healthy diet with regular physical activity will help you lose weight and it’ll balance out your hormones, making you feel happier and hornier! By adopting a lifestyle that will help you burn fat, you’ll want to have sex more and when the time comes for you to actually have sex…it will be easier for you to become aroused.

Arousal is the first step for a fun night of sex! If cannot get it up call us for help.

  1. Attitude is everything!

When you take the first step to living a healthier life style you will, without a doubt, feel better about yourself and life in general. This means that you won’t worry as much about how you look in this position or from that angle, because you are a ‘work in progress’ and you’ll be more likely to go with the flow.

Having a go with the flow attitude in bed will allow you to relax and simply enjoy yourself. It’s a known fact that its much sexier to have a little fun in the sack than have mediocre self-conscious sex.

  1. More Sex

I think we can all agree that having more sex is a good thing, right? Well losing weight can help you achieve just that. You’ll want to have more sex when you have less weight on your knees and hips. You can diminish or eliminate that pain by shedding the extra fat.

When you can have sex on a whim, you’ll want to and guess what? You will!

Just imagine all the time you’ll have to actually have sex rather than make sure you’ve got your blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes or heart medication

9 Reasons Why People Cry After SEX

Have you cried after having sex? Your partner? Know it is perfectly normal and you not alone.

It might be happy tears, tears of relief or a bit of pensive sadness for not reason. Tears during or after sex can be a purely physical reaction.

In clinical terms crying after sex is known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD), while crying occasionally during sex called postcoital tristesse(PCT). The PCD symptoms may include tearfulness, sadness, and irritability after consensual sex, even if it was perfectly satisfying.

PCD can happen to anyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation. And it does necessarily have to involve an orgasm.

In a study conducted in 2018 using anonymous questionnaire researchers found that of 1208 males, 41% experienced PCD. Up to 4% said it was a regular thing.

Below I will outline the reasons why someone might cry after sex and what to do if it happens to you or your partner.

  1. Happiness

You probably experienced tears of joy before. A range of emotions can evoke crying and its not a bad thing. It can be at your graduation, or at the birth of a child. Same thing can happened during or after sex.

  1. Being overwhelmed by the scenario

Sometimes you get lost in the moment, as some can rev up tension and create an emotional roller coaster.

Tears may mean you are simply overwhelmed by the thrill of it all.

  1. Being overwhelmed by your body’s response

Sometimes you might cry beacise you just got the biggest orgasm of your life or first experience with multiple orgasms.

Intense physical pleasure can overwhelms you and it wont be a surprise that you end up crying.

Conversely, you might be overwhelmed by your body’s lack of response. If you have been looking forward to great sex and do not get the ending you want, you might be frustrated and tense enough to cry.

  1. Pain

There are many reason why you might experience pain with sex.

Painful intercourse, during or after can be due to:

  • Lack of lubrication
  • Trauma or irritation of the genitals
  • Urinary tract or vaginal infections
  • Skin conditions near genitals
  • Vaginal muscle spasms – vaginismus
  • Congenital abnormalities


Physical pain associated with sex can be treated, so make an appointment with your doctor to get it fixed.

  1. Anxiety

Crying is a natural reaction to stress, fear and anxiety. When you feel anxious in general, its hard to put that aside even when having sex.

Sometimes you might have performance anxiety. After sex you might be worried about whether you satisfied your partner or whether you lived up to expectations.

  1. Shame or Guilt

There is a lot of reasons you might feel ashamed after sex that it can make you cry.

There are a lot of reasons you might feel such shame or guilt after sex that it makes you cry.

You might be uncomfortable with what you see as animal behaviour – sex, or lack of impulse control. You could have body image issues or dread the prospect of being seen naked.

Shame and/or guilt after sex can also be residual effects of other issues within the relationship that follow you into the bedroom.

  1. Confusion

Confusion after sex isn’t all that unusual. It may be due to the sex itself.

You told them you dislike something but they did it anyway?

You thought you were giving pleasure but they’re obviously unsatisfied or upset?

Unresolved issues and emotional confusion from a relationship can invade your sex life. Sex doesn’t always turn out great. Sometimes one or both of you are left confused and disappointed.

  1. Depression

If you find yourself crying frequently it could be a sign of depression or other mental health condition that should be addressed.

Other signs of depression can include:

  • sadness
  • frustration, irritability, or anger
  • anxiety
  • difficulty sleeping, restlessness, or fatigue
  • loss of concentration or memory
  • appetite changes
  • unexplained aches and pains
  • loss of interest in normal activities, including sex
  1. Triggering Past Trauma or Abuse

If you’re a survivor of sexual assault, certain movements or positions may trigger painful memories.

This can make you feel particularly vulnerable and tears would be an understandable reaction.

If this has become a frequent problem, you may want to take a break from sex. Consider seeing a qualified therapist who can help you work on coping skills.

The bottom line is crying after sex isn’t unusual and, it can be a sign of deeper issues [some of them above] that needs to be addressed.

If this happens regularly, you may find it helpful to speak with a therapist about it. They can help unpack the reasons for your tears and potentially work through any underlying concerns.

9 Ways to Lose Weight Without Dieting

Sure you can weight quickly if you follow fads diets. There is a lot of them listed on the internet. They promise rapid weight lose but they will leave you feeling hungry & deprived. And later you will definitely gain the weight back.

I this guide I want to outline what real weight experts and experience recommend to keep on the weight permanently. The best way is to lose weight slowly without going on a diet of some sort. They key is in making changes in your lifestyle.

About half a kilo gram of fat is equal to 3500 calories. By shaving 500 calories a day through dietary ad exercise modifications, you can lose about half a kilo gram in a week. If you want to maintain your current weight, shaving 100 calories a day is enough to avoid extra 0.5 – 1 kilo gram a year most adults gain each year.

Adopt the one or more the following simple, painless tips to help you lose weight without going on a so called “diet”:

  1. East Breakfast

One good habit to incorporate in your life is eating breakfast every day. This will help you lose and keep off weight.

Many think skipping breakfast is a great way to cut calories, but they usually end up eating more throughout the day.

This study show that people who eat breakfast have lower BMIs than those who skip breakfast and perform better whether at school or in the boardroom.

Try that high protein breakfast in the morning.

  1. Control your environments

Another simple strategy to adopt is to control your environment. By this I mean avoid going or eating foods that will increase your calories. This include everything from stocking your kitchen with lots of healthy options to choosing the right restaurants.

Avoid the temptations by staying away from all-you-can-eat restaurants. At the buffet be selective when you fill your plate.

Before going back for more food wait at least 15 minutes and have a big glass of water.

  1. Close Kitchen at Night

Establish time as to when to stop eating in the afternoon.

Have  cup of tea, suck on a piece of hard candy or  enjoy small bowl of ice cream or frozen yogurt if you want something sweet after dinner, but brush your teeth so you will be less likely to eat or drink anything else.

  1. Choose Liquid Calories Wisely

Sweetened drinks pile on the calories, but do not reduce hunger like solids foods. Satisfy your thirst with water instead or sparkling water with citrus instead or small portion of 100% juice.

Be careful of alcohol calories, which add up quickly. If you tend to drink a glass or two of wine on most days, limiting alcohol to the weekends can be a huge calorie saver.

  1. Eat Whole Grain

By substituting whole grains for refined grains like white bread, cakes, cookies and pretzels, you add much needed fibre and will up faster you more likely to eat at reasonable portions.

Chose whole-wheat breads and pasta, brown rice, ban flakes, popcorns and whole rye crackers.


9 Ways to Lose Weight without Dieting

  1. Eat More Produce

Eating lots of low-calorie, high volume fruits and vegetables crowds out other foods that are higher in fat and calories.

Move off the meat off the centre of your plate and pile on the vegetables.

Try starting out lunch and dinner with bowl of salad or soup.

Stock up your kitchen with plenty of vegetables and fruits.

  1. Reduce Your Portions

If you did nothing else but reduce your portions by 10 – 20% you will lose weight.

Most portions served to you at home & restaurants are bigger than you need.

Get instant portion control by using small bowls, plates and cups. You won’t feel deprived because the food will look plentiful on dainty dishware.

  1. Add More Steps

Throughout the day do whatever you can do to be more active. Take your dog out for a walk. Walk around in the house while doing what you do.

  1. Have protein at every meal and snack

Adding a source of high protein to each meal and snack will help you feeling full longer so you are less like to overeat.

Try high-fat yogurt, small portion of nuts, eggs, and high fat meat.

This will make you feel full for a long time. If can reduce meals from 3 a day to 2 even better. And also eat when feeling hungry.

How can you Control Early Ejaculation?

Early Ejaculation is when a guy ejaculate prior to or within about a minute of penetration which causes frustrations and distress, usually resulting in partners avoiding having sex.

The question is its normal for the average guy to ejaculate within 2-5 minutes of penetration? Some of us have experienced this problem for as long as they can remember while other may experience it suddenly.

If you suddenly see such symptoms it might be due to erectly dysfunctions, relationship problems, thyroid, prostate.

Another problem could be performance anxiety.

To be able to facilitate your partner’s orgasm, you must focus on longer foreplay and physically stimulating her to bring her to a higher point of arousal before penetration.

Note to remember is that a penis is not a tool with which you provide an orgasm to your partner – female orgasm is more complex than that!.

Below are ways to delay ejaculation

Self-help techniques:

  • Masturbating up to two house before having sex
  • Using thick condom to reduce the sensation in the penis
  • Having sex with your partner on top, so they can pull away when you are near to ejaculating
  • Taking a deep breath to shut down the ejaculatory reflex

The squeeze technique:

  • You or your partner masturbates you and stops before you ejaculate, they then squeeze the head of your penis for 10 -20 seconds.
  • Then let go of your penis foe 30 seconds and then resume masturbation
  • Repeat the process several times before ejaculation is allowed to happen

The stop-go technique:

  • Similar to the squeeze technique, Your partner doesn’t squeeze your penis though
  • When you have built your confidence about delaying ejaculation, you can have sex, stopping and starting as needed

Above techniques require practice to get right, but should help to delay ejaculation in the long term.


7 Ways To Overcoming Shyness Around Opposite Sex

Getting over your shyness may seem impossible right now, but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then, you can definitely overcome shyness.

It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you are typically always much worse than the reality of the situation.

Below, I’ve listed xyz simple steps to overcoming your shyness. These aren’t magic solutions, but practice these steps to and over time, your shyness will fade away and you will be left wondering what all the fuss was about in the first place.


  1. Role play your way into situations that make you anxious.

This may sound silly but take time out alone to play-act situations that you get really nervous about.

Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be.

This play-acting will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.

  1. Dress to impress.

Other step to consider is to dress to impress, even if nobody is looking.

Always look your best.

This does amazing things to help you feel good about yourself and overcome shyness.


  1. Fake it until you make it!

This is an infamous saying in the sales world. In other words; mimic or act like someone whom you admire and has all the personality traits you wish to have.

This is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioural habits.

Put yourself in their shoes and play out real life situations as though you were them. This may sound crazy, but it does work!


  1. Ask yourself why you are shy.

Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Answering these questions will help guide you into separating reality with what you are mistakenly perceiving it to be.


  1. Work on building your self-confidence.

Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, watching videos online and talking to someone about it.

  1. Use daily affirmations.

Daily affirmations and positive mind influence can be very powerful tools to improve yourself.

This takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like “I like myself!” or “I am a winner!”, etc.


  1. Learn to take risks.

How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how beautiful they were, or how they impressed you with their clothes.

As a daily exercise do this: Each day of the week go up to a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it!