Have you cried after having sex? Your partner? Know it is perfectly normal and you not alone.
It might be happy tears, tears of relief or a bit of pensive sadness for not reason. Tears during or after sex can be a purely physical reaction.
In clinical terms crying after sex is known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD), while crying occasionally during sex called postcoital tristesse(PCT). The PCD symptoms may include tearfulness, sadness, and irritability after consensual sex, even if it was perfectly satisfying.
PCD can happen to anyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation. And it does necessarily have to involve an orgasm.
In a study conducted in 2018 using anonymous questionnaire researchers found that of 1208 males, 41% experienced PCD. Up to 4% said it was a regular thing.
Below I will outline the reasons why someone might cry after sex and what to do if it happens to you or your partner.
You probably experienced tears of joy before. A range of emotions can evoke crying and its not a bad thing. It can be at your graduation, or at the birth of a child. Same thing can happened during or after sex.
Being overwhelmed by the scenario
Sometimes you get lost in the moment, as some can rev up tension and create an emotional roller coaster.
Tears may mean you are simply overwhelmed by the thrill of it all.
Being overwhelmed by your body’s response
Sometimes you might cry beacise you just got the biggest orgasm of your life or first experience with multiple orgasms.
Intense physical pleasure can overwhelms you and it wont be a surprise that you end up crying.
Conversely, you might be overwhelmed by your body’s lack of response. If you have been looking forward to great sex and do not get the ending you want, you might be frustrated and tense enough to cry.
There are many reason why you might experience pain with sex.
Painful intercourse, during or after can be due to:
- Lack of lubrication
- Trauma or irritation of the genitals
- Urinary tract or vaginal infections
- Skin conditions near genitals
- Vaginal muscle spasms – vaginismus
- Congenital abnormalities
Physical pain associated with sex can be treated, so make an appointment with your doctor to get it fixed.
Crying is a natural reaction to stress, fear and anxiety. When you feel anxious in general, its hard to put that aside even when having sex.
Sometimes you might have performance anxiety. After sex you might be worried about whether you satisfied your partner or whether you lived up to expectations.
Shame or Guilt
There is a lot of reasons you might feel ashamed after sex that it can make you cry.
There are a lot of reasons you might feel such shame or guilt after sex that it makes you cry.
You might be uncomfortable with what you see as animal behaviour – sex, or lack of impulse control. You could have body image issues or dread the prospect of being seen naked.
Shame and/or guilt after sex can also be residual effects of other issues within the relationship that follow you into the bedroom.
Confusion after sex isn’t all that unusual. It may be due to the sex itself.
You told them you dislike something but they did it anyway?
You thought you were giving pleasure but they’re obviously unsatisfied or upset?
Unresolved issues and emotional confusion from a relationship can invade your sex life. Sex doesn’t always turn out great. Sometimes one or both of you are left confused and disappointed.
If you find yourself crying frequently it could be a sign of depression or other mental health condition that should be addressed.
Other signs of depression can include:
- frustration, irritability, or anger
- difficulty sleeping, restlessness, or fatigue
- loss of concentration or memory
- appetite changes
- unexplained aches and pains
- loss of interest in normal activities, including sex
Triggering Past Trauma or Abuse
If you’re a survivor of sexual assault, certain movements or positions may trigger painful memories.
This can make you feel particularly vulnerable and tears would be an understandable reaction.
If this has become a frequent problem, you may want to take a break from sex. Consider seeing a qualified therapist who can help you work on coping skills.
The bottom line is crying after sex isn’t unusual and, it can be a sign of deeper issues [some of them above] that needs to be addressed.
If this happens regularly, you may find it helpful to speak with a therapist about it. They can help unpack the reasons for your tears and potentially work through any underlying concerns.